Go On, Be Kind

Why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves? Is it because of an external force, such as taking on others expectations? Is it an internal force of holding ourselves up to impossible standards? There are so many angles we could look at this from, but the fact remains that we have trouble being kind to ourselves. Which means we must all be walking around with some grey rain clouds over our heads. Well, then again, there are those who believe they are cool as cats and are probably quite happy with themselves. But I'd challenge any one of them to a yoga class and see what their reactions would be to certain poses. However, for all I know perhaps they'd approach any and all poses with an unshakable sense of satisfaction that no matter what they physically struggled with, they would remain content with themselves. 

So, unless a person has already figured out how to maintain consistent confidence and contentment with absolutely everything they do, most people react to at LEAST one pose with self criticism. Of course, we all know constructive criticism is always helpful and necessary. But these gut reactions aren't always that constructive. I can see plainly on people's faces they are embarrassed when they can't reach farther in a forward fold or are unable to sustain a balance as long as someone else. Obviously I assure them it doesn't matter, it's alright. However, I'm not so sure they believe me. When I say, it's alright, I am trying to convey those simple words of kindness first. Afterwards I will explain that the look of a pose is not the point, or comparing ourselves is not the point either. The feeling inside and awareness of the feeling is what we're going for, which I'm sure they understand but the initial reaction still lingers. 

I deeply feel it's important to send out kind words whenever possible. We are capable of understanding concepts and ideas of self improvement, but when we are in the heat of a moment, kindness can sometimes go out the window. I see it in myself when I have lost my motivation and energy to complete a full hour of practice and I hear myself berating me for not being better. While there is something to be said for an internal drive to be better I still try to be a small voice of kindness for others when they exclaim "I must be doing this horribly". Maybe they ARE doing "horribly" but according to what? Each day is different, each moment is different, bringing new challenges or relief. We are in constant fluid change. Maybe I don't need that full hour on this particular day at this particular time. Who am I to know for sure what's "better"? Maybe we need to do horribly in order to know what it's like? 

Might as well seize the moment to extend some kindness in this harsh world. So, it's alright. Don't worry. There will always be bigger things to fret over, save your energy for those things and in the meantime practice being kind to yourself. Don't stop working hard or moving forward, just try to be kind about it.