Bending Backwards Into Deeper Self Knowledge

This past March I decided to follow a KinoYoga online challenge of a different back bending pose everyday. I don't normally stick very well to 21 day, or 30 day, or any other number of days, challenges. I usually start out very gung-ho and then fizzle out - slipping back into my usual routine of daily life and remembering here and there to squeeze in a challenge attempt. That's pretty much what happened with this challenge too, however I can say that I did not completely fizzle out. I didn't do each pose each day it was meant for, and I didn't even always warm up before doing them and just jumped onto the ground and tried a couple. Terrible. Never do that. Not a good a way to really experience a new or advanced pose. Not at all.

What I did do, I kept the challenge in mind during my classes and my own practice so that I incorporated more back bends whenever possible. Including more back bends in class was excellent for everyone. Even the most beginner body can benefit from moving the spine in the opposite direction to its usual position. As I'm sure you've heard a thousand times - sitting is not good for you. And yet it's what we do for a huge chunk of our waking time. Not to send you into despair, but it only takes beyond 40 minutes in a seated position to start wreaking havoc on your body and your body systems. Circulation is cut off, tissues aren't getting blood supply and therefore not being nourished, muscles and joints start to become weak and stiff and "frozen", fat accumulates making the work of your heart and other organs much harder, you become stressed and lethargic...Okay yes yes, it's not good. But what can you do?

Simple: MOVE. For every hour you sit, if you get up and walk around, lean back and stretch, and breathe a little more deeply you'll keep that long list of depressing side effects of sitting at bay. So if you haven't been doing that: start now. To make up for all those hours, days, or years of sitting for long periods of time, start practicing yoga regularly.

Back bending poses, especially, will nourish your body sending circulation rushing through those stagnant, stiff places that are usually cut off in sitting. They also boost your energy, giving you a feeling of being more alert. So if you're feeling sluggish and think you can't possibly make it to the end of the afternoon, bend backwards! Moving your body backwards stimulates all the nerves that run out of the spinal column, sending electrical energy through the whole body. It's your way of clicking the "refresh" button. The link between how you feel emotionally and how you feel physically is so strong and intermingled that you may not even be aware of it. After some back bending you can even improve your mood. Think of how it might feel to have your heart open and bright, lighting up your chest with life, or how it might feel to throw your shoulders back and lift your face to the sun. To me I think it would feel like freedom, like strength, like safe surrender, and like ecstatic joy.

When it came to my personal practice, there were days during the challenge that I took my time and sent myself somewhere new. I began my usual routine of sun salutations to ignite my body and my breath and continued with usual poses that build strength and stamina. When I approached my back bends I started simply. Cobras, Locusts, Bridges, leading into Bow and Wheel. Then I came to the ones in the challenge that I'm familiar with but don't practice as often: Fish, Low Lunge with a deep back bend, and a very advanced version of Bridge (pictured). These sent me into territory that is fragile - neck extension. 

Neck extension is controversial because of the importance of being safe with this area of the body where important nerves and blood vessels are traveling from the brain to the spine to the rest of the body. I will say here, that if you have ever felt pinching or restriction in your neck, consult a doctor before putting your neck in positions that don't feel quite right. Your neck should never feel not right. You must be honest with yourself and honour your body's safety. If you experience any pinching feelings, any sharp feelings, any tingling or numbness, any feeling that isn't good. Stop. You do not need to do these particular poses to achieve health and wellness and all the riches of the world. Know also, that people sometimes report "out of body" experiences when doing deep back bends and I have experienced them myself but because I know some anatomy I know that it was not an out of body experience. It was the lack of oxygen getting to my brain because my back bend was slightly closing off the blood vessels. Don't be freaked out by this thought. Our blood vessels are meant to be malleable and benefit from some squeezing (just think of a nice massage, practicing yoga is like massaging your whole body from the inside out). However when those blood vessels happen to be feeding your BRAIN, a little too much squeeze can put a kink in the garden hose so to speak and you may black out. I discovered this while in a full one legged pigeon as I reached over my head for my foot and dropped my head back. My vision went black and I understood I'd gone too far. In the darkness I felt myself calmly let go and bow down to the floor to rest. I came back to normal within seconds and felt no other problems but I learned that for me, extending my head all the way back is not a good position. ( One legged pigeon holding on the foot is still a pose I do, but I just do not drop my head back to touch my toes to my head. It's not for me and I'm totally cool with that)

Of course everyone is different so you may have no problem at all with any kinking of blood vessels. Do give everything a try, but be vigilant with your awareness. Listen and respond calmly to whatever your body tells you.

So, knowing my blacking out history you may be surprised to see me in these back bends with alot of neck extension. This is why you should give everything a try as long as you are aware and are keeping yourself safe. I know that if I apply a little bit of pressure with my head into the floor I can protect the back of my neck and therefore support my cervical spine. I made sure to use this pressure in these poses and found them to be quite therapeutic for my neck! Whoo hoo! So with confidence boosted, I proceeded to the more advanced back bands.

The first revelation I had with my back bends was upward facing staff pose. Its a pose with arms over the head and the neck extended so I was prepared to approach it cautiously and most likely have to come right back out at the first sign of blood vessel kinking. However I found as I straightened my legs and intensified the back bend with my legs and lower back, my neck extended all on its own and felt utterly free! My neck felt as if there was no weight on it, no pressure, no kinking! This is a pose I never knew I could do and I stayed with my breath with a big grin on my upside down face.

The second revelation was with poses that require the arms to reach up and over and for the shoulder blade to slide down the back. To get into these poses require a bit of a round about rotation and "flipping" feeling in the shoulder which takes me directly into the meatiest part of my scoliosis hump in my thoracic spine on the right side of my back. Did I mention I have a scoliosis hump? I do, but it's not so large that if affects my life so I don't think about it unless something brings my attention right to it. Advanced Bow and Dancer pose are such culprits. Similar to reaching for the foot in one legged pigeon and then rotating (or "flipping" as it kinda feels to me) the shoulder blade down the back to allow the elbow to point up, Bow asks this of us with BOTH ARMS for crying out loud. Because of the curve in my spine I sub consciously or maybe consciously skip over that particular version of one legged pigeon because I don't particularly like the reminder that the knot of tight muscle in my back makes it extra difficult. But it was decreed the pose of the day by the challenge! I had to give it a try. And since it's not actually painful or harmful, it's just harder, I made myself go through it. Once I get past the tricky place the pose feels amazing. The freedom and joy I mentioned before. That's what I felt and more. (hey! unintentional rhyme!)

The culmination of the challenge for me was Kapotasana. Full pigeon. I didn't even bother with the hand stand back bends that were the climax of the actual challenge. Full pigeon is a huge attempt for me. What with the neck extension and arms over head reaching for the toes. For this one, I just wanted to see how far off I was from reaching my feet, and with a playful, unconcerned attitude, I reached, and I reached and I might have grunted or squeaked, but I touched my toes! Ha! It was fun just to try. I am in no way close to being strong enough to hold it for five breaths but the fact that I attempted means I have taken a step closer.

This month of back bending brought me deeper understanding of myself. I sometimes coddle myself too much. I approach challenges with a relaxed attitude that suits me just fine. I can rise to a challenge without being reckless. I can do Kapotasana!?! The greatest knowledge I gained is that I can make myself feel better. I often feel stiffness or pain in my back from sitting (yes I'm guilty) and I have developed too much tension in my neck from reacting to chronic headaches. And the scoliosis in there somewhere too. However it all melts away and I feel rejuvenated -even reborn!- after these deeper back bends. Coming out of them is like waking up from a thrilling dream and feeling ready to either take on the world or slip, smiling, back to sleep. (You can guess which of those I was leaning towards on this day)