In my asana practice I remind myself to stay observant. This observing perspective helps to keep me at a slight distance from myself. I observe what feelings are arising in my body, the joints, muscles, organs, etc. I observe what my breath is doing as I change from shape to shape. I observe where my mind wanders.
I like to approach it as studying myself with curiosity.
Like a scientist watching over their lab experiment. What is the subject doing now? and Now?
Except I don't record anything down. I just observe. I don't collect pages and pages of notes to store and fill up my bookshelves. I just observe. What's happening now? The next time I come to my mat I observe again. Starting fresh.
In meditation I use different breathing techniques or mudras or repetitive movements or mantras. Whatever the technique may be, my goal is the same. To be curious and observe what I do, what I feel, where I go.
I find this is effective in stepping away from myself. After reflecting and of course observing myself and how I feel or react in daily situations I have realized that I need to develop my ability to detach. To step back and find a place where I can not be influenced away from how I want to be. What I mean is, I know I am easily caught up in external forces and therefore I need to expend more energy protecting my "happy place" so to speak. There are probably many of us who take on other's feelings when we are in close proximity. Or even if they are on the other side of computer screen, far away. There are those of us who are sensitive to suffering big and small all around us. While it is valuable to be empathetic, there is always need for balance. When this empathy effects my whole day, or night it is time to work on the opposite to balance it out. Detachment.
Let me be perfectly clear - detachment is NOT indifference. It is NOT not caring. In the same way I can be observant of myself while I breathe, I can be observant of myself while I am caring or empathizing. The ability I'm trying to build is to stay in the observing space, the detached space more often so as not to be swept down a spiral of external influence. I want to feel as though the detached observing space is a true place to exist. This place still allows me to interact in the real world but the fact is I could interact with a vision of the bigger picture. I could interact for the greater good as opposed to blindly following the paths of fear, hurt, doubt, separateness that have been laid out for us in this society.
By stepping back and detaching from immediate impulses and reactions, I can interact with the world from a place where I can see my small part of the greater whole. My connection to everything. If we lived every day as if we KNEW we are part of everything, I believe we would all act a little differently. I am trying to get there.
Brilliant.
So by detaching, observing, being curious I am striving to achieve a daily experience of being the whole ocean in a drop. This drop, my being.
